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Ah, the infamous "Naysayer".....!  As you move through your creative journey, most often than not, you will meet up with him or her.  These are not people who provide healthy criticism of your work to improve it.  These are the people who are not fans of what you are doing altogether, no matter how good it is.  They are somehow threatened by your interest to do something creative and will do everything in their power to discourage you from doing it. 

Not long ago, I shared a creative dream with a rather recent acquaintance, expecting her to be as enthusiastic as my long-time friends and colleagues.  We were talking on the phone catching up and when I announced the creative project there was dead silence for a minute or two.  She finally said, "what made you want to do that?"  It was an odd question...somewhat accusing like "why do you want to jump off a cliff?"  I explained more about the project...expecting an "ah hah" or "okay, I see"...but that wasn't the case.  Later she said that she didn't know why I wanted to do something I didn't have a level of understanding of it (in accordance to her).  She then proceeded to compare how she perceived I handled a personal situation and use that as a barometer of how unqualified I was to pursue the creative project...two totally different things. Unfortunately, I did temporarily allow her words to concern me.  Was I really unfit to do this?  Is she right?  But why was she the only person I shared this with being negative about it?  What's really going on here?

After meditating, reflecting and talking to people who really knew me and were either objective or strong proponents of my creative life, I was reminded that her role was to really keep me on my toes, trust my intuition, and measure my commitment to the project.  And that's what naysayers do....they remind you of your purpose in life as a creative and to move forward regardless of what "they' say or think. (Note: the only exception is if the person is providing sound advice about what you propose to do which might physically or mentally harm you or others or is against the law).

So how do you deal with a naysayer that throws water on your creative dreams or goals? Here's some thoughts to help:

1. Consider the source:  How well does this person know you?  What role do they play in your life and if any to your creative dreams?  If they are a person that is a casual acquaintance versus your mother, spouse, etc. The role they play will have a lot to do with the weight that their words carry. Are they an expert in the field that you are pursuing?  If so, is their opinion recognized professionally? Do they know your creative side or just another side of your life (i.e. in the office, on the tennis court, etc.)?  Depending on the source, you will need to decide how active or involved they will be in your creative life and adjust accordingly. In my case, the person was not very familiar with the extent of my professional endeavors, only based on what I would share about in a passing conversation or via social media. She did not have a professional background or experience in my field or the area that she believed I was deficient in to make any assessment about my ability to do the creative project. 

2. Ask yourself what they are not saying.  Does the person feel threatened because your free time is no longer spent with them but in your creative endeavors?  Or does the person secretly want to pursue a creative dream and is jealous of what you are doing?   Is there a lot of changes going on in their lives (caretaking of a sick relative, taking over the raising of young children, separation or divorce, loss of job, a major move, health issues, children in trouble, etc.)?  Life circumstances such as these can make some people stressed, anxious, regretful or even resentful of others and cause them to say critical things to others intentionally or unintentionally.   Also, consider the personality of the person...if they have always exhibited some narcissistic traits, their response to you may be part of their regular behavior.  My naysayer had recently made some major life changes that may have contributed some to her response to my announcement.  

3. Decide how much the naysayer continue to be privy to your creative life.  Depending on how you answered #1, decide what role they will continue to play in your creative life.  You might want to let them know that what they said was hurtful and talk about your feelings, if it is safe to do so, and depending on how well it is received, make the choice that feels right for you. You may decide that you will no longer share anything about your creative life with the individual and stick to neutral activities or topics of discussion. You may learn that the person feel shut out of your creative life or miss the time you both spent together.  If that is the case, consider how to make more time in your schedule to spend with them....or even how to get them involved with helping your creative practice (i.e. if you are writing book, think about using them as a beta reader or getting them involved with organizing your first book signing).  If they are in a position to support you financially, you may want to consider your options by talking to someone you trust, whether it is a therapist or another professional, especially if it a part of ongoing or escalating mental or physical abuse.  Or you may decide that you no longer want them in your life period.  Again, depending on the situation, weigh your options carefully and make the choice that supports not only you but your creativity as well. After sharing my feelings with my naysayer, we decided that a continued friendship would not be beneficial and have since parted company.  I haven't looked back but view it as wakeup call and an educational moment for me as I move forward with my creative endeavors.
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4. Know who your fans and cheerleaders are.  Those who truly know and support your dreams are the ones you need to have close.  These people are not afraid to give you constructive criticism when you need it and are always visibly excited about what you are doing.  They may or may not be "influential" but their energy and belief in you is what you need.  If you don't have these people around, seek them out in creative groups or other organizations that bring together people with like minds. Believe me, your "people" are out there...you need to find and connect with them to move you forward.

5. Think about who can and cannot share your creative dreams with.   In the age of social media where so much is being shared with everyone with a few clicks, it is easy to feel that sharing your creative dreams shouldn't be an issue.  Unfortunately, it is in many cases....the "haters" and those who are naysayers thrive on your vulnerable moments just to kill or overly criticize what you are doing.  Think about who needs to know about what you are pursuing.  Ask yourself the questions in #1 especially how well they know your creative life and are they people who have consistently appreciated your creative gifts.   You may also want to consider "rolling out" a major creative project slowly regarding who you share it with.  Perhaps only a handful of people you trust can know it the beginning and when it's close to being unveiled, everyone else.  

How do you deal with the naysayers in your life?  What advice can you give to others who are dealing with this situation?  Please share in the comments below. 

​One of the most discouraging issues any creative has to face is the creative block.  One of the definitions I identify with regarding a creative block is what an article in GoodTherapy describes as  “the inability to access one’s internal creativity. People who are in engaged in creative activities or professions such as authors, actors, artists, dancers, etc. are often adversely affected by creative blocks….long stretches of uncreatively which can last for up to years..
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There are many things, which I have covered in previous blog posts that can lead to a creative block.  Some of these include

• Fear of rejection or failure
• Death of a loved one or end of a relationship
• A lack of financial support
• Self-doubt/self-criticism regarding ability & talent
• Repeated rejection of one's work
• The need for perfection

A few years ago, after the death of my father, I suffered through a two year creative block after a relatively fertile period of creating art.  It was frustrating not being able to be inspired to create and I questioned myself regarding whether or not I was really an artist.  Going through this time of grief was needed, but I didn’t understand that at the time.  It was only after the grieving process ended, I was able to find some inspiration from my loss and create something to honor my family legacy through art.   After that, I was able to make a series based on family images which became a series of mixed media work which was unique and interesting.
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How does one deal or overcome the creative block when it rears its ugly head in our creative life?  Here are some ideas and methods that I used to help me move past it in the past:

1. Artist’s Dates:  Yes, the tried and true method introduced by Julia Cameron in The Artist’s Way is one of the best ways to unblock you.  The Artist’s Date as defined by Julia Cameron “is a once-weekly, festive, solo expedition to explore something that interests you.”  The key of Artist’s Dates is that they must be done solo, ideally during at two hour period and have sense of “play” involved with it.   Some ideas that can be considered for Artist’s Dates include: spending time in nature with a journal, sketchbook, etc., see a good movie, attending a musical concert or play, hiking, moving your body: yoga, dancing, walking, visit an animal shelter or rescue and play with the animals there….so many things that can be done to lift your spirit and encourage a sense of play.
2. Invent or Reinvent Your Creative Space:  Sometimes when we revisit the place where we do our creative practice and change things up a bit helps.  I write about creating a “feel good” creative space here. 
3. Engage in a different creative activity:  I have found changing up what I indulge in creatively helps.  In the last year, when I felt a bit stagnant creatively, I started writing more…specifically poetry.  I even took it a bit further by performing some of my poetry in person at a local restaurant’s open mic night.  Whether or not it is considered “good” is not important to me, just the act of creating and sharing has helped me to keep a sense of play and wonder during times that I need to maintain my sense of creativity during dry periods.
4. Use the time to take a break and research your interests:  View the “down” time creatively.  See it as a way to take a break from your creative activity.  Don’t view it as a blocked period mentally….use it as a way to recharge.  Are there topics you been wanting to explore with your creative practice?  Use this time to do so….for example, has Native American rituals and customs been an interest of yours?  What about reading up on different tribes or visiting a reservation or an institution dedicated to the topic.
5.  Morning Pages:  Another tool from The Artist’s Way, morning Pages “are three pages of longhand, stream of consciousness writing, done first thing in the morning.”  I find that this three page mind dump every morning helps to clear the cobwebs and great ideas often surface that I would not ordinary think about as well as themes of areas I need to explore within myself, my creative practice or life in general.   A great example of how to make the morning pages work for you is this blog by Chris Winfield. 
6. If you are dealing with self-doubt or your inner critic, find a way to confront those voices. Here’s an exercise that might help using affirmations:

 
Think of who you know you want to cultivate within you as a creative.  Practice writing statements (in the affirmative) that describes who you are or becoming.
 
EXAMPLE:  I don’t know if I am truly the creative person want to be.
Affirmation:  I love and trust my creative gifts.
 
EXAMPLE:  I think I am a songwriter, but not sure if it is just in my head or if I’m that good.
Affirmation:  I am a talented and very gifted songwriter that is celebrated for my work.


If you facing depression or some kind of mental or physical illness, these tips may not work well for you and professional intervention via a therapist or physician may be the first step in dealing with the creative block you are facing. Take time to make a proper assessment of what is going on and what might be the source of your blockage before trying these or other tips to address it.

Have you tried other ways to unblock your creativity?  Share below!

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There comes a time when we have to make a big decision with our creativity....whether or not to share it.  I have noticed this is a big issue for many people in creative recovery....I hear a lot of people rationalizing why they don't share their work. 

• "It's something I do for myself, not for others." 
• "I really never thought of sharing my work." 
• "It's not all of that...just something I do privately."

But in the back of many people's minds is really, "I don't feel confident about sharing my work."  Or "people are going to trash it."  And of course, "my work doesn't look as good as. so and so's."

Gaining the confidence to share your work is a process that takes time and patience.  I always tell people to be gentle with yourself with this and to trust your intuition as to when and how you will share your creativity.  But once you gain the courage to share your work, you will find that it will be one of the most rewarding and freeing feelings that you will ever experience.

It took another artist friend poking me ever so often to share my work.  I was more known as an art curator than an artist at the time, and didn't feel confident putting my work next to the beautifully talented artists that I worked with in exhibitions.  My friend and I were co-curatoring an exhibition at a coffee shop in Baltimore, Maryland and she encouraged me to make something for the show.  I did and it was a proud moment for me to place it on the wall and place a label beside it.  After that, I had the courage to submit my work in a few exhibitions and next thing I knew, I was exhibiting regularly as an artist.  When I first sold my first art piece, I really gain more confidence to create more work for exhibitions.  Even today, after over ten years of exhibiting my work, I get just as excited as I did with my first sale.

But how do you get there?  Here's a few tips that may help you move from hiding your work to getting it all out there.

1. Feel all the feels.  Putting your work out there makes you vulnerable.  You are opening inner muse to the world.  It's scary.  ou are putting yourself out there...sharing your truth on your terms.  Don't deny yourself or ignore the fact that the fear is real.  But know this, when your creativity is something that the world needs.  Someone is wating to be inspired by what you create.  And you are worthy to create and share something that can be celebrated by others.. Don't waste energy on what people think, what someone else is doing or the "crtics"....it doesn't have to be perfect.  And creativity  moves us to take risks....you know that you are on the right track when you are moved past your comfort zone.  Write out what you feel is the worst possible outcome of sharing  your creativity.  Then write out what you feel the benefits are.  Look at the first list...and ask yourself, how likely is the worst outcome actually happen?  How would you feel if another 5 or 10 years go by and you missed out on the benefits of sharing your work?  Let your muse lead the way.
2. What is your "why?"  Think about why you want to share your work.  Is it a life-long goal?  Is it help or bring beauty to others?  Or is it because someone is pressuring you to do it?  Be clear how sharing your work can fulfill you personally.  If you are giving into pressure from outside of you when you don't feel ready, examine why you feel the need to give in and how it would benefit you.
3. Set a goal to share your work.  When you decide that you are ready to share, set a goal that you feel that you can reach easily.  What is a good time to share it?  When do you think you might be ready? The goal does not have to be big or fancy, just what works for you. You may want to think more sooner than later, i.e., why wait a year when you know your work may be ready in 3 months? 
4. Visualize what success might look like.  What are you looking to gain as a result (which is related to your why)?  For example, are you looking for feedback, compensation, or the satisfaction that you are contributing your creativity to the world?  How do you want to feel?  Visualize and concentrate on what you want the outcome to look and feel like so you can own the moment. 
5. Get some honest feedback.   Share your work with one or two people you trust and be open to their feedback before you share to a wider audience.  Choose someone who is not only supportive of your creativity but can provide objective feedback in a tactful and helpful way.  If you are a part of a cretive communitiy that you trust, share your work with them.  Listen actively and let your intutition guide you on making any necessary changes.  You don't have to incorporate any feedback, but don't be closed. Stay open to what is said about your work, you may stumble on something that will really take your work to another level.
6. Choose the Venue or Event to debut your work.  It may be sharing your poetry during the next family dinner gathering or the writing support group you are a member of.  You may want to display your art in your office where your co-workers can see it.  Start small then to get overwhelmed or intimidated by something big.

In conclusion, I thought I would share the following advice that appeared on on a blog featured on Life Hacker on the topic of sharing your creativity by Leanne Regalla, a Freelance writer and content marketer: 

• "Take baby steps. People vastly underestimate all that is involved in getting your work out there.
• You'll never be without fear. Successful people learn to act in spite of fear.
• Mistakes aren't the end of the world, and when handled gracefully they can win you fans and friends.
• Everyone won't like your work, and that's ok. It doesn't make you less of a person or artist.
• Celebrate your victories, even (especially) the small ones!"

Have you recently started sharing your creative work to others?  What steps did you take to get the courage to share your work?  What would you do differently?